with a wishful whisper

grasping at sand
this dark hole
this empty being
this cold lifeless soul
I see your eyes
the one I hurt

again, again surely again
the tears will make play
with a kind wipe of your porcelain skin
I walk with the last taste of you
away

with foot drug pace I am pulled where I belong
into myself
alone

passed from my lips
with a wishful whisper
again your name

love
has lost me

forever in this

This morning’s wake
You my love
Still dreaming

My loves skin
Enlivens
Entices
Temps

Dreams spin from your sweet lips
To catch them with my own
This life with you, absolute

With stirred heart
I watch
My loves slumber
So sweet

Traced finger
Kissed lips
Loves eyes open

Forever in this
My love
Forever with you

an emptied soul feels no cold

Sleepless night, nights, weeks or maybe life, this haze filled existence haunted by a self chosen, tormented past…another year passes and with a bitter soul I walk, trot and plot to the next empty square. Grasping and gasping I look for you. You disappear, before me as Buk described with the mornings first light, burning love away like the mornings fog. This dawn, not so bright, with love skipped night I wake and wipe nights of last, the tears. In them my last taste of you, I hesitate to move. With this heavy heart, to rise is to peel my soul from mother’s sturdy grasp. To breathe means to lose the last scent I hold of you. Better maybe to let the blade sing and wake not again in this meaningless haze. Streaming tear washing loves smile forever from my lips I wish only one thing, one last kiss.

silence brings fear

fear rides the silence

these broken hearts
taken
you slip

it seems so long
the touch
your lip

eyes left
darkness
prancing

skin laced love
your touch
your lip

the beating
heart
mine

taken
in your hand
given

silence brings fear

life is anew

This mornings dawn, seems like no other, its rays of warmth, orange, red and white light piercing the cold concrete and steel edifices of the seemingly emotionless city, like monuments, giant headstones for the barren beings and misplaced souls that roam in these empty spaces, scrambling for their cut, their nut, their basket full of eggs. Unaware, most, I am sure, of the event. The suns new day, taken for granted and brushed aside, no time to notice, no time to love.

Habitually numb, alone without thought or reflection a new mood a new emotion stirs, rises. In this moment I see only you, your eyes, opening to me like this day’s sunrise. Your eyes, your being engulfing me, exposing me of my weaknesses, my flaws, and my faults, you accept me you understand me ultimately, you love me.

Like the city being warmed by this new day’s sun, I am warmed by your radiance, your touch. I am reborn and my life is anew, I breathe you in, hold you in my lungs and in my arms. In this new day’s sun, it will always be, only you, only me.

i miss you

could it be that the night
without you
might be darker
that without you
the night is colder
that without you
I am just less than complete

your warmth just a memory now
your touch still here
just out of reach
your taste lingers on my lips
I breath in the last of your scent

I miss you

this time will pass
but without the haste I crave
your next touch so far away your next kiss seems but a dream

but I will dream
and again and again
you will be mine

there is only you

If love had a color, I am sure it would be that of your eyes. Captivated by your girlish smile I am dazed. School boy crush, no longer a boy, I am yours. With every kiss, nearer, we are pulled. Each moment fleeting, starved for more. How these hearts dance, this beat we create. There is only you, there is only me. In this lovers dance our hearts are free.

grasping at wind

content in this
my pity
my loathing

if only i listened
if only like jack said
i would swim

through my fingers
your love
through my fingers
you

grasping at wind
through my fingers you slip

in this bag wrapped heart
a weak beat

this heart for you
surely does weep

my souls winter

It seemed fitting that the gray clouds of winter moved in again this morning.
Their imposing march on the city has mirrored the suffocated feelings of my heart today. I’ve pushed you away. The sun dimmed, shut out by the dreary gray, again matching my own emotions. Love, desire, compassion pushed to deep to feel.
Engulfing the concrete and iron at will, the bitter cold bites at the city, it bites at me, and it starts to snow. The flakes, like dreams tossed from the gods, float from the dismal heavens, why can’t I catch one?
The snowy dreams blanket the wintry ground, so many wasted and blown by left to die.
The hum from the highway resonates in the air, a soundtrack for winters grasp, the sad song that plays in our head as we watch love walk away.

Content, your brown eyes, only they have seen me. Your milk white skin and freckle laden body dances in my mind. As if it were but a dream, it seems so long ago that I last touched you.

My closed off heart aches. To weak to let you in I wrap it in self pity and sorrow. I cool its warm center with jaded thoughts and memories of the past. My soul’s winter, created by my own weakness, seems so long, so cold, so alone.

Your name whispered, floats from my lips and into the cold, I wonder, can you hear me?

01-06-10

tear filled eyes
i can’t rub you from my being

a new day breaks
the sun rises
my heart sinks

i've lost you