my Julie

What would you have me say
spoke unto myself

that without her
my heart skips a beat
that without her love but a word
spoken in tongues not know to me

that a simple touch from her
my beloved
starts my heart a knew

then speak to me
give to me her words
I'll sing her song

she will dance in my heart
as long as there is a beat
and she will dwell in my love
in me
as long as there
is
a me

my beloved
my heart

my Julie

fuck you

maybe you shouldn’t be left alone
maybe the walls you built make sense
maybe what you want is what you are most afraid of

fuck you

you and your inability to see beyond your selfish needs, your wants, and materialistic commercialized heart

fuck you

your glory dazed whiskey filled eyes
unable to realize loves dance at your step

give me your pain
your heart ache
your miss communicated mumblings and drunken drivel
ill spin them in to incoherent ramblings that skate on the edge of madness and art
but dance mostly in a bottle
emptied so you can’t see
can’t feel and refuse to acknowledge

love surrounds you and your nature is to run

fuck you

run, run next to your weakness
nibble on that barrel and free us from you hideous inability to recognize who you are
free me from the pain of growing
of knowing

fuck you

you’ll never know me
you’ll never know

love

fuck you

a tailspin loved tail

your smile dances

every thought I have
have had and will have
begins with you
your touch

your touch but a dream
your loves smile
morning breath lives but for such a smile
how I miss your lips

you said you loved me

a tailspin loved tail

your tickled feet
your ever loved neck

with every touch
loves tickled beat

how I wish you
next to me

how I hope you
only you
know

I love you

thank you

I want to thank you
thank you for coming into my life
for holding my hand

I want to thank you for that first kiss
and every kiss after

I want to thank you for your kind smile
your ever listening ear
and your gentle heart

I want to thank you for your patience
as I stumble through my fears

I want to thank you for that look you give me
the one that melts my heart and gets me through my day

I want to thank you for giving my life reason again

But most of all
I want to thank you for loving me
as much
as I love you

every magical thing not known

with every sliver,
of my being
with every beat,
of my heart
with every glance,
or sight I’ve seen
and every magical thing not known…

with every breath,
I’ve ever taken
with all the tears,
that have been shed
with all the stars,
in our sky
and every new day,
hour,
moment,
of my life,

I will love you

in this moment

Winter they say is coming. In this cold darkness it seems as if she might have already found her way into me. Having been pulled from your warm embrace, loneliness fills me and I steer away from your drive. Doubt fills the cracks of the weakest parts of my being. It’s not the drive; it’s all the time alone. The lines in the road hurry by, like moments in life, moving past, without so much as a thought. In this moment I realize what I have wasted. So many moments have past without loving, without trusting, without happiness, without you. I’m afraid that more than half of the lines in my life have already hurried by. With a fractured soul, pieced back together by you, by your love, I ache for our moments our time. I yearn for the moment that this road takes me back to you, where my arms around you are supposed to be. For now, I hold your angelic smile in my mind and your love in my heart and like the sunrise, it warms the cold doubt filled places of my being.

Somehow

Somehow…

your hand in mine,
smaller,
softer,
makes me stronger
the little things,
the big things,
these things don’t matter

I have you,
your hand in mine,
I am stronger,

we will dance a new dance
and sing our hearts song
they might not listen
they might not understand

but our hearts beat
in this everlasting song

and together
with this new,
this everlasting
this love
this new song

in this
You will always be
in my heart
in my song…

our everlasting
love song

the swiftness of this…

the swiftness of this…
our love,
my love
as if on rails
with our hearts beat
my hearts skipped beat
held next to you…
in your eyes my life unfolds
on your lips
my whispered dreams come true
my heart
held in my loves hands
this love, our love
so true

nothing more do I want
in this world

my true love
is you

we kissed

Something about a kiss

the first
not an awkward moment
as if I had kissed you a thousand times

every time I see you
it’s always as if it were the first
I’m left in awe with what is your beauty

your angelic eyes see through me
how do I deserve that smile?
it melts me

my arms wrapped around you
as if I were built for you
strong but only for you

nothing comes close to you
in this embrace
my arms around you

a thousand more times
we kiss

I will always hold the first
that kiss

wish you were here

The past weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, feelings, changes. After months, even years of living in darkness and hiding, I have once again found myself and in doing so found you, my love. Just when I had given up on the idea, that this love I carried in my heart would surely die, go to waste or simply be consumed by self-pity and doubt you smiled at me. In the moment I saw your smiling eyes I fell. After holding your hand my heart raced to the beat of a song our love had not yet written but had already new the lyrics. And when I kissed you, when you kissed me, when we kissed, all the darkness in my life was lit by you. A new path was before me paved with the rocks that we pick, that pick us, the heart shaped stones that call to us when we hold hands and laugh at our silly nous. This love, new, in man’s idea of time, surely has been waiting for this moment to come into our life. With all of the trials, trails, and wayward promises, we endured our paths came together. We sparked and with this spark a fire was lit that will take Poseidon himself to extinguish. Because we will burn as one like the brightest of stars and oldest of galaxies, in my arms you will always be my light, my love. So on this cold night, when I yearn for you, and my lips call to yours, and my arms are empty, I send a whisper to the stars in hopes you hear,

I love you…

I wish you were here…