so alone in truth

this wind washes
this spirit
or so I am told

maybe I just made it up

facts sometimes get lost
In this wind
our wind

so angry, the souls dance
this wind
waiting to be heard
felt, understood

danced days of love gone
hearts felt

so long so gone
the touch this wind

winds roll through
no desire no agenda
only our wind

whispered tales of love
tales only, I am sure

dance on this winds tongue
only loves love knows the truth

truth
our truth

so alone in truth
in right
in love
real love

I miss this wind
our wind
this truth
our truth

so has gone this wind

lonely days of doubt

It’s not hard to figure out. We fall, we fall easy, and I fall hard. I don’t think it’s a secret. Some hearts break and some hearts mend, but some wait for the next. With every waking dream some wait for that moment, when this creepy beat is complete.

The eyes, my soul’s mirror, reflected, magnified, dissected.
That look, the glance, your glimpse folds me. In the eyes I see the dance, I watch it unfurl.

Hands clasped, walks, talks forever ever after. What brought you to me?
When the rain dances, I feel you against me, the warmth, beauty, and splendor of our creation.

With bitten lip, I taste you. I want you, only you, in this heartbeat, this moment, I know only you.

Your yielding touch, that spot, angels don’t feel this soft. One last touch forever a burn, a yearn, a death, one last pass my lovers love.

The slightest breeze brings you back, but I fear it is only me.
So many a dream these whiskey danced days. So many drunken days waiting for you, if just you to hear my drivel.

These lonely days of doubt, so worth the wait.

drunken salvation

you realize
you are alone

snow falls in the sun
water runs backwards
and not all that is love is true

the moon’s dance on the mountain
is as beautiful as we have seen
but as such
we don’t believe

the biggest brown, green and blue eyes
still dance with whoever is next

the softest touch
how we wait for the touch
is still just touch

this whiskey dance
this drunken salvation
certainly

You realize
You are alone

i could not catch you

Flakes dance between the leaves

I felt your love

The water runs beneath me

I could not catch you

The snow
The flakes melt in my hand

I watch you run

Insignificant bewildered dance

I miss the melt

Suns beam
Our lover’s swing

Don’t look back
A tears dance

You said
Second chances we don’t count them

I want
The first

i should have said it earlier

so those words get tossed around
we know it when we don’t have it

i don’t know how I let it go
its gone

these dance less days of memories
forgotten grace
and ill reason
how I miss the touch
the taste
the never ever ending lace

with glassed eyes
I tell you

we are ok

a long walk home is longer with this empty hand

the deepest breaths don’t return
the deepest thoughts
so do burn

i love you
i should have said it earlier

like it says
i might feel broken

but I'm not broke

silly strings these heart tested beings
if only one more whiskey

no more broken wings

a dreams end

My souls mate…I met you, I have seen you before, I knew you in the years of my youth but you were just a girl.

When we first touched I couldn’t let go, I wouldn’t let go. In your eyes I saw myself, kindness, passion, pain, desire. Your beauty surpassed that of any I have known and your every feature had been etched into my being. The length of your neck, the faultless pout in your lips, the way light danced from your eyes like a 70’s disco ball. I was surely spellbound by what was timeless beauty.

When you spoke your words danced in my head and I was mesmerized by your brilliance and intensity. You carried yourself as angels might move and with every step I learned a new meaning of excellence. I could tell I was being daft and might have seemed a bit mad in my manners as I was taken breathless by your… your you. You were perfect.

When we kissed I breathed in the essence that is love, you tasted of heaven and my soul was reconnected. Like a child amazed by the lights of the first carnival I was dizzy, dazed and stunned by our connection, we fit. In that moment I was sure these lost days of aimless wondering were over, that the gray clouds of hopelessness and loneliness were burned away by the radiance that was your soul, my soul.

Reality or in this instance, timing, has a way of waking you up at the most inopportune moments. My dream had come to an end. This dance, to my dismay was short.
This was not our time, not now.

I do still hold theses things in my being and I cherish the dance as a moments stroll in the heavens.

I’m not looking now, maybe you will find me…

our prints in the snow

Your look took me here
With a glance
My shudder

my mate my soul

Danced days, our prints in the snow,
the sand,
the clouds

I breathe you in
You exhale only me

When we touch we never let go
Our hearts beat
the same song

The same skin
Our sin

Touched lip
Sweetest taste

The dance was the beginning
The dance our never ending

Your tear is my tear
My souls mate


Has no fear

just below the trees

To you
To have breathed the same air

To have grown and loved and touched

So lucky in youth

You said I write about love

I say I wish I knew how to keep it

These silly days of letting go and not letting in

So hard on the lovers
We can’t hold on to the kiss

But we can hold on to the heart
We hold on to our chance
Our faith that you, are there
the right one
You are there, and you are looking for me,

I am just below the trees

these silly dances

when you wake up and the sorriest you have ever felt,
is staring back at you

you miss the walks
the talks

the never ever after

when the thoughts you held inside
were scarier than the ones you let loose

when you know your not good enough
when you know you don’t say the right thing

when all you need
all you want

is to be a part

when all you do is love and all you want
is the same
then

these silly dances
these silly shields

what a waste

to have loved you forever
to have you as my muse

these dance less nights and sleepless scripts
would not have been

pleading

ridiculous

blood deep is my love for thee
gloom I am sure is what is left for me..

alone
this room

tear stained sheets
empty

this bottle
this me

broken being
pleading, pleading

the darkness of this night, will it ever end?

quivering lip
shaking hand

sipping away this nights end
to you
your heart
I so do plead

with a loving lip
please do place

the last loving kiss

to me
my end

your not here

emptiness, is your side of the bed,
emptiness, are the memories in my head
emptiness, is the feeling deep inside
emptiness, are the feelings we try so hard
so hard to hide

emptiness, is the end of the bottle
emptiness, is a new bottle

emptiness, is laying in my bed
emptiness, is living inside of me
emptiness, is you lying

is you lying
is you lying to me

don’t lie
don’t lie
please don’t lie to me

emptiness, is the feeling I will never be set free
emptiness, is me
oh emptiness is me
its inside of me
its inside of me

oh when
oh when

oh I will never
i will never
i will never
be set free

your not here,
you’re just some where else
your not here,
your just someone else


you’re not with me,
why can’t I see
you’re not with me,
everyone else can see

emptiness why cant I see
emptiness its just me

02/08/2009 10:58 AM

A change has occurred in our solar system, dear Leo - a shift that will probably be imperceptible, but is nonetheless profound. You have seven months to understand how this change impacts you. It will dawn upon you that you feel a strong need for liberation; perhaps you need to release yourself from the bonds of your group. Innovation is in the air!


2/8/2009 10:58 AM

I have been contemplating the question you put forth...my story. What is my story, how much do you really want to hear? How much do I want to tell? Do I really even have a story?

Sometimes thinking about this brings back memories, feelings that I somehow forgot I had. Memories, feelings perhaps I pushed down unconsciously. Buried and put to rest. A mass grave of thoughts, occurrences, and experiences bulldozed over like the bodies of some religious holocaust. How do you bury your past, how do you hide your humility?
This is the darkness that we try so hard to keep our precious white washed mind from visiting, in hopes of never having to feel again. Never do we want to feel the pain of loss, of hurt, of betrayal, of falling in love. Or maybe it’s just me.

Maybe I pushed down the good stuff, the sunny days, the clean smells. I don't recall the hand holding, the kissing the lovemaking. I wonder if I will remember being at one with whomever I loved, will I relive that moment of not knowing where my lovers love began, and I end. Will I know this memory, or will it only be played like a silent film in some dark theater in the back of my dark silent soul. Maybe I wallow in, wash myself in my pain, my past. I think I relive it more than I should, more than anyone should. What could I have done better, what could I have changed, saved. What should I have said? Should I have held on a little longer, a little closer? Should I have loved more, loved less...

I was naïve and frankly believe my self to still be quite the same. I believed in love. I guess now I reserve it for the young. The handholding the lovemaking belongs to them now. The sunny days and the thought that this will be, this will last, forever. This is theirs, these precious naiveties are theirs. Lest we forget, forever is a long time.

They, I pray, are strong enough for the power of their convictions, their heart. That they look both ways before crossing and wear their personal flotation devises. As the heart is a powerful force, and should not be handled with fumbling hands, but held as if it were gods own soul. These things I know as I have been crushed, trodden and thrashed by my own. I took its power, its loveliness, its frailty for granted.