lifted these dreams

I carry my burden, created owned and lifted these dreams, this drunken drivel…

I spill what I can put words to but only with a soul’s knife can I cut away at the weight. Dimmed is the light that used to burn; passion, contentment, desire now only words used to describe a person that, now in hind’s sight may have had a skewed hallucination of life.

I swallowed the poison, maybe I am the poison. If you have loved me, then I will have certainly let you down, if you have touched me, then you will have known the burn. When you realize we are all from the same pile, put together of recycled thoughts, materialistic dreams, eccentric hopes and egotistical views of a world laden with hate, contempt and greed, I wonder if it matters.

Do you think you know me? Have you ever seen me smile?

Grey clouds don’t follow me and I have more friends than I probably deserve. I don’t appreciate my life the way I should and I take so much for granted. The sound of my little girls giggling in their bedrooms up stairs echo in my mind and are so long gone now it’s as if I might have made them up. Lying in slumber next to your love, the warmth, the scent the tenderness…the bed, is so much bigger now.

I know you’re in there; I’ll keep you quiet for now, Ill use you when I can, and I will protect you at my souls cost…don’t come looking for me,